Kapde sukte dekh Sasur: ye kala kapda kiska hai.
Saas: bahu ki panty hai!
Sasur: kabhi pehne nahi dekha isliye pucha
panty
Kapde sukte dekh Sasur: ye kala kapda kiska hai. Saas: bahu ki panty hai! Sasur: kabhi pehne nahi dekha isliye pucha
Panditji
Panditji fati dhoti me mandir me matha tekne ko jhuke toh ek aurat ne uski g-and daan patra samajh 1 Rupya dal diya. Pandit bola: thoda age hath karke ab GHANTI bhi Baja do!
funny letter
Funny Letters With Double Entendres Extracts from letters sent to a council housing office – Part 1 These are genuine extracts from letters sent to a council housing office. There are double entendres galore but the senders wrote their words in all innocence. Lady tenant complaining about DIY repairs next door: “He has got …
very dirty jokes
Rhyme: The sadness of sex Kissing’s a pleasure Fucking’s a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain He says he loves you, and you believe it’s true Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you. 10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain 3 days in hospital, …
very dirty jokes
One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach. But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn’t care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case. Soon …
Aug
31
panty
Aug
31
Panditji
Panditji fati dhoti me mandir me matha tekne ko jhuke toh ek aurat ne uski g-and daan patra samajh 1 Rupya dal diya.
Pandit bola: thoda age hath karke ab GHANTI bhi Baja do!
Jul
06
very dirty jokes
Rhyme: The sadness of sex
Kissing’s a pleasure
Fucking’s a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
He says he loves you, and you believe it’s true
Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.
10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain
3 days in hospital, a child without a name
The baby’s a bastard
The mother’s a whore
This never would have happened if the rubber hadn’t tore
Three guys die and go to hell.
When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.
“Oh, how are you going to do it”, asks one of the guys.
“Whatever your fathers jobs were, that’s how I’ll remove them” says the devil.
So he calls over the first guy “Your father was a lumberjack… So I’ll cut it off with a saw”
To the second guy he says “Your father was a blacksmith… So I’m going to burn it off”
As he calls the third guy over he notices he’s smiling.
“Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends penises” says the devil.
“I know” replies the man “but my father was a popsicle maker
Blueberry hills
It was the first day of a new school year.
Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy “Why are you tardy,” the boy replies “I’ve been on Blueberry Hill” the teacher said “Take your seat.”
She asks the next boy why he was late. “I was on Blueberry Hill also” he replied.
Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer.
As the boys we’re sitting down a girl arrives in.
“Let me guess”, said the teacher. “You where on Bluberry Hill aslo”
“NO…. I am Blueberry Hill” replied the girl
Jul
06
very dirty jokes
One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach.
But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn’t care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case.
Soon comes a little girl that asks “Sir, what’s under the newspaper?”
The man replies with “it’s a birdy and never ever touch it.”
He soon falls asleep.
Later on when he wakes up, he’s in the hospital feeling immense pain around his private area. The doctors ask what happened and all he could remember was the girl at the beach.
Later on the cops arrive at her house asking what she had done. She said “well I was playing with the birdy but then it spit this white stuff at me. I got really mad. So I broke it’s neck, stepped on it’s eggs, and burned it’s nest.”
Jun
26
Making sandwiches
One night a guy and his girlfriend were having sex. They were in his room he shared with his little brother. They were on top of his bunk bed, and his 9 year old brother was sleeping below. The guy told his brother they were making sandwiches. To his girlfriend he said “bread” means harder and “cheese” means faster. “BREAD BREAD BREAD!” The girlfriend screamed. “CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE!” The guy screamed. Then the 9 year old called up “you guys better stop making those sandwiches – this mayo tastes horrible!
Jun
25
True marriage proposal like joke
THIS IS REAL FUNNY – ACTUAL LETTER TAKEN FROM THE TIMES OF INDIA .
RESPONSE TO A ‘MARRIAGE PROPOSALS’ ADVERTISEMENT!
I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Lahore .
Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely.
I am a soiled son from inside Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim.
I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand.
If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. Fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope.
I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation.
Expecting soon
Yours and only yours
Jun
24
funny jokes
A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: “Why are you laughing?”
“I was thinking about my own funeral” the man replied.
“What’s so funny about that?”
- “I’m a gynecologist.
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| A Girl Checks Her Weight = 58kg . Removes Sandal = 56. Then Dupatta = 52 Now Coins Finished……. . . . . A Boy In A Q Behind Her Said Ü Carry On””, I Have Coins! |
18 yr old girl got pregnant, crying,
Mother says: Who was that crap?
Call him.
Half an hour later,a latest model limosine stops in front of their house & a mature grey hair in a vry expensive suit, steps out.
Man:Ur daughter has informed me the problem. However I can’t marry her, but if a girl is born,I offer 2 stores,a villa & 2 millions.
If a boy born, then 2 factories & 5 millions but incase of miscarriage,
What do u suggest I do?”
Mother:Try again sir!
Two older women are sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. The first lady takes out a cigarette and starts to smoke. A minute later it begins to rain, so she takes out a condom, cuts off the end, and carefully places it over the cigarette to shield it from the rain. The second lady looks at that and says, “That’s such a good idea, but what is that plastic thing?” “It’s a condom,” The first lady replies. “Well, where can you buy those?” the second lady asks.”Um… Most people buy them at pharmacies.” the first lady replies. So the second lady goes to a pharmacy and walks up to the counter. “Do you guys sell those condom things?” she asks the pharmacist. “Why yes we do,” the pharmacist says a little confused, “Do you know what size you need?”So the lady says, “Well it’s got to fit a Camel.”
Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John said to Michael: “Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She’s a lot better in bed than my wife!”
Two days later. Michael said to John: “Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!
Once there was a football match between insects and animals. In the first half animals score 6 goals but insects can`t score any.
In the second half there was a centipede(an insect having 1oo pairs of legs) playing in the team of insects who score 12 goals and the insects win the match.
Then journal ask the coach of insects why he had not keep the centipede in the ist half. The coach replied yes I wanted him in the ist half but he was wearing boots for his 100 legs till half time.
Jun
24
On top of mine
During her annual checkup, the well constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.
“Doctor,” she replied shyly,
“I just can’t undress in front of you.”
“All right,” said the physician, “I’ll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you’re through.”
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness:
“Doctor, I’ve undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?”
“Put them on the chair, on top of mine.